Heineken.com isn't a digital storefront; it's a digital bouncer. With 1.25M monthly visits, the global beer giant's primary digital asset is a single, legally-mandated page that asks one question: 'How old are you?' This isn't a bug, it's a strategy that reveals a trillion-dollar corporation's relationship with the web.

"Heineken doesn't sell beer on its website; it sells the idea that you're old enough to buy it elsewhere."

The real digital story isn't on heineken.com; it's on heineken.co.uk, where the privacy policy and terms live. This bifurcation—front door as gatekeeper, back office as utility—is telling. It suggests a defensive posture. In an era where DTC brands use storytelling and commerce to build community, Heineken uses its domain as a legal shield.

• Massive backlink profile (2.8M) from decades of sponsorship deals (F1, Champions League) that don't convert on-site.
• Traffic dominance from undefined regions suggests tracking issues or a fragmented global strategy.
• Zero structured data or rich snippets, a missed opportunity for brand SERP dominance.